Content warning: Some or all parts of this reading may be triggering.
How were you connected with POEM Rise?
I found POEM Rise through student support services at my university.
Tell us about your pregnancy and postpartum journey. How did your experiences impact your mental health?
I’ve experienced two completed pregnancies and one perinatal loss. My first pregnancy was marked by medical maleficence in regard to undertreating high blood pressure, which resulted in postpartum preeclampsia, racial microaggressions in the delivery room, postpartum depression and extreme anxiety and loss of quality of life as a whole. My first pregnancy was in the middle of the pandemic (2020). Nearly 8 months out of that experience, and after returning to work, I experienced pregnancy loss (Spring 2021), and there was absolutely no aftercare provided to me by my medical provider during that time. I was told it was “just a chemical pregnancy”. Later, in the beginning of 2022, my spouse and I got news that we were pregnant again, and we were over the moon, yet very anxious about what physical and mental health experiences I’d have that go-around. My most recent pregnancy was the most enjoyable to date, I’d changed OBGYN’s and found a doctor whose values and passion for Black/Afro-descended people’s wellbeing aligned solidly. I also discovered POEM that year while attending university classes.
POEM services provided me with critical mental health services that not only helped me cope during my pregnancy with the ever-changing home environment that comes with parenthood, it also assisted me in protecting my mental health from community violence, as I experienced a neighbor stalking me. Pregnancy or Gestation is one of the most dangerous periods of a woman, or birthing person’s life — as that is when persons are statistically most likely to first experience domestic violence and to be killed by a partner, ex-partner or other OUTSIDE of when survivors attempt to leave an abusive partner et. al. As a survivor of domestic violence, who has long been removed from abusive relationships, it was very stressful and triggering to face community violence WHILE pregnant, and POEM resources helped me have a safe space away from that violence where I could simply focus on my family, enjoying my pregnancy, and building community with mothers and others like myself.
As a direct result of being stalked and feeling isolated, I often had suicidal ideations. These intensified when the community violence escalated, and the police sided with my abuser, disregarding a pending restraining order! My son suffered from fetal growth restrictions, in the healthiest pregnancy I’ve ever had due to community violence ALONE, and I had at least half of a village. I can’t imagine what other mothers and birthing persons’ experiences are WITHOUT support.
I think it’s critical that my entire story be told, because there is a short list of reasons why I’m even able to tell this story today: My pregnancy, though complicated from the outside, was extremely healthy for ME in comparison to my previous pregnancy that was marked by high blood pressure and other side effects. I had emotional support available to me on a daily basis via POEM’s peer support line and the national fetal maternal health crisis line. I’d made friends with other POEM members and often attended meetups. In being part of POEM, I learned how to extend grace beyond others, back to myself and I self-admitted into OSU Harding Hospital 4 months after my second child’s birth to receive treatment and diagnosis for PTSD, the result of communal violence while pregnant. Knowing who is in community with you, extending grace to yourself is critical.
Were there any forms of support you found beneficial to you in your journey?
Poem support line, in person and online support groups, inpatient psychiatric care
Are there any words of wisdom or encouragement that you’d like to offer other birthing persons?
Just as quickly as you would offer help to another, please be just as quick to accept it yourself.
